NiAGARA FALLS =]

=] 

...

It`s been 6 months and 6 days since the first time we talked.
Grrr im gettin` insane ... i HATE YOU BUT WHY I KEEP
THiNKiN` OF YOU?!! Why do I still care for you when all
you do is hurt me and lie to me? Isn't that stupid?
Yea one of my stupidity and when im gonna wake up?
I wanna screaaaaaaaaam so bad Fuck this life!!

CRYiN` TiME AGAiN!!

Here I go again, sitting in front of my computer full of sadness and
confusion. I don`t want this to happen. It hurt so much watch him
walk away from me. I`m so confuse, I don`t know who to believe
...Scott or Angel. One of them is lying to me and I don`t know who that is.
I love you so much Scott, can`t you feel it? If you could only see my
eyes cryin` for you, maybe you would understand how I feel right now.
I don`t know why do you have to give me lame excuses all the time and
why do you have to deny  it to yourself that we went out? Why can`t
you just accept the fact. I`m sorry that I think differently from you that
made me thought that we were going out. But you can`t blame me, all
the things that you have shown me before brought me to that thinking,
your sweetness and compassion in the past. I felt so much affection from
you. And most of all, I am sorry that you feel I`m a nut and I think from my
knees. Also, thank you for all the names that you have called me such as
BiTCH, DUMB ASS, NUT AND i DESERVE TO BE TREATED LiKE SHiT.
It hurt that I have to fight and swear at you but it`s only because I can`t
control myself anymore. Even I swore at you it doesn`t mean I`m guilty or
just trynna cover my mistakes or anything. There's too much stuff going on
with my life, too much problems and complications and then you`re makin`
it more complicated. I can`t take this anymore Scott. I can`t believe that this
is happening to us. I lost you once and now I`m losing you again "FOR GOOD".
Would the time come that you would talk to me again? Would you give me a
chance to explain? Would you listen to what I`m trynna say? If you`re tellin` me
the truth, I wouldn`t understand how one of my trusted friend betrayed me. I
couldn`t rely on that someone would actually do that and backstab me. How
could they say those tittle-tattle about me? If you only have listened to me,
It really hurt that you didn`t even bother to listen, that you didn`t even gave me
a chance to explain or just to clean my name onto you. I couldn`t get the
picture why do I have to waste my tears for you? I wish I could tell you my real
feelings for you. "i LOVE YOU, YOU iDiOT!!". I wish you would know that I`m just
here waiting for you from the very first time you left me. I hope that you gave me
enough time to show you who I am & what really I am. The words that you were
tellin me are killing me right now!!! Falling inlove with you is one of my biggest
mistake coz I know I shouldn`t fall for you that fast, but what can I do? I cannot
rule my heart and I feel like I slayed myself for that. I murdered myself for
wanting what I can`t have.

My Debut <3

*True Boyfriend*

The True Boyfriend would:

• Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.

• Tease her and let her tease you back.

• Remember her birthday.

• Have time for her.

• Love her despite her mistakes.

• Make unforgettable moments for her.

• Not doubt her when she's out with her friends.

• Tell her "I'm here" when she feels alone.

• Call her unexpected just to let her know you love her.

• Never cheat on her.

• Be honest to her. Even if it might hurt her sometimes.

• Eat what she cooks for you.

• Cook for her.

• Miss a night with the guys just to be with her.

• Be open to her.

• Know her favourite colour.

• Show her, you appreciate her from time to time.

• Have faith in her no matter the distance between them.

• Stay up all night with her when she's sick.

• Watch her favorite movie with her.

• Give her the world.

• Let her wear your clothes.

• When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.

• Let her know she's important.

• Kiss her in the pouring rain.

• When she runs up at you crying.. the first thing you say is..
Who's ass am i beating today baby?"

-TOXiC-